I'm Back....Now Hush!!!!!!!!!!!

Ummmm....three weeks, yea, I know. I have heard about it from everyone that reads my site...all 3 of them. So here I go.


My family has struggled in recent weeks. I was of the mind set of, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Yes, Momma, I was listening. Carol informed me today that you would, and wanted to, read no matter what the tone.


In my house things have been pretty ugly. We have gotten to one of the lowest points that I feel any family can get. One of us wasn't here the way he should have been. Joshua started a downward spiral in aggressive and defiant behavior around the time of my last post. He managed yet another "mini-vacation", only this time...he got to be home Thursday till Tuesday (or should have been Tuesday) due to the Easter weekend.


Friday (ironically...Good Friday) was the day that the bottom NEARLY fell out. I woke early, went to the parentals to get my brakes half done, left there, went to exchange a pair of shoes, and headed to the house. As I was putzing leisurely (doing my usual 70 mph) down Pellissippi Speedway (Parkway) my celly rings. Joseph is on the other end wondering where I am and when I would be home. Apparently, my fair skinned freckled one was an antagonizing, irritating, tormenting tornado. After the two previous weeks, I was at the end of my rope...literally. I called my mother hysterical and pretty much told her that if someone didn't do something, it was going to be an ugly scene. I just couldn't wrap my head around how my child, the one that had been raised in the fashion as his siblings, could be such an awful kid. Momma told me she would call Daddy and see what he thought, but that one of them would come get him.


I calmed down somewhat and called Carol. I asked her to just talk to me till Daddy, or Momma, got there. Instead, she dropped everything and ran up here. I am forever grateful for that. I had a house full of kids, one of which was pretty well out of control. I was at a near nervous breakdown state. She came in, gave me a job, herded the kids to bedrooms to clean them, and was the voice of reason when I had none. Oh yeah, my job...look in the phone book and find SOMEONE to call to see about getting some sort of help. I don't think I ever called anyone, but I do know that I sat for quite a while with the phone book open on my lap and the phone in my hand.


By the time Daddy got here, the kids rooms were sparkling and he was quite pleased. He gathered Josh, his luggage, his meds (make SURE he has his meds, said dad), loaded it all in the truck and off they went.


It ripped my heart out to have to send him somewhere, but I really had no other option. I fear that, had he stayed, things would have gotten even more out of control and I don't know what the outcome might have been.


As much as I love my kids and would do anything for them, the last thing I wanted to do that entire weekend was talk to him. That sounds really awful. I would like to say that not having him here was horrid, and on one hand it was but on the other hand, the stress of wondering what was going to happen next was drastically minimized. I think that I really needed the time and space to calm down, think, and just let someone else deal with him for a while.


Have I ever told you just how awesome my parents are? They didn't have to come get him and keep him the entire weekend. But they didn't hesitate (that I am aware of) to come to our rescue. My parents love us, we all know that. It is just amazing to me how they can be so selfless. They could have easily said to me that I had to deal with it, I had no other choice. But they didn't. To tell them thank you would never be enough. They are just two of the most loving, genuine, not to mention cute people I know. I thank God that he chose them for my parents. I guess He knew He needed to give me to these two since He knew the could handle all this drama.


I brought Josh home with us on Sunday afternoon, and I was extremely hesitant. Apparently, my hesitation and apprehension weren't that far off. Josh was to stay home for his last day of suspension. With his other jaunts, I have woken him up early each morning and put him to work before I ever left. This particular morning, I figured the longer he slept, the less time he would have to reek havoc on my house. I gave him no chores. If I had no expectations of what should be completed when I got home, then I wouldn't be disappointed and upset.


What is it they say about the best laid plans???


That day, I heard nothing from him. I didn't call. (Insert appropriate ignorance is bliss cliche' here). Then the clock struck 4. This is the point at which the bottom DID fall out. Joseph had called Alison and pretty much told her to come get him and Kamry. Josh was completely out of control and they were not staying at home with him another minute. Talk about feeling helpless as a parent. Your kids world is pretty much in the process of being completely turned upside down and you aren't there.


I have always known what an awesome friend I have in Miss Alison, but my mercy, does she have to keep rubbing it in my face...ha ha. She did not hesitate to come to help of my children when I couldn't get here fast enough.


She allowed me enough time to make a very vital phone call. I contacted the admissions/assessment folks at Peninsula. After hearing my story, not to mention my distress, fear, and frustration the lovely man on the other end of the phone set us an appointment at the main hospital at 11 the next morning (Tuesday). Praise Jesus is all I can say.


Upon reaching my house, I see two of the most beautiful sights...Sara and Alison. I don't know at what point Sara Baker came in to the picture, only because that whole evening is pretty much a fog. What I do know is these two ladies stepped up, stepped in, took control of a completely out of control situation. I am still unclear as to what all took place between the kids in my absence, and anymore, it doesn't matter. Alison put Joseph and Kamry in her van, got them clothes and took them to her house. Sara called Todd and he came to get Josh.


In the midst of Josh completely losing it, he vandalized (only word that seems to fit this situation) the house. It looked like a tornado had gone through and Alison said that it was way worse when she got there, but she had the other two help her clean it up a little bit. In my lack of control state, the one thing I knew I could control at that very moment, was the state of my house. I started cleaning. I began scraping hardened glue off the wall from where Josh had a "Picaso" moment and made some really interesting designs with hot glue. I actually even took the floor vent registers off and vacuumed them out. WWWHHHAAAATTT???


Ali brought food back on when she came back over. Although I was not even remotely hungry, she made me eat and I have to admit that it did help. They both stayed with me for a couple of hours after the kids were gone. In that time, we talked about the whole situation and tried to come up with some sort of game plan that would offer everyone the safest situation. Sara said that she would take Josh and he could stay there as long as was necessary. Alison had already advised me to call Peninsula, and emphasized how important that appointment would be in getting to the other end of this dark, curvy, scary road.


A word, or more, about those Baker's. They completely rock. Not only did Sara drop what she was doing, which includes taking care of her own family, to come take care of mine. They opened their house, their hearts, and their family and brought my child in to give him shelter during our storm. Again, the last thing I wanted to do was not have my child here, but there was no further down to go at this point. Friday now seemed to be a breeze in comparison.


Well, this is getting way long, and you have probably had 17 cups of coffee/diet coke/insert appropriate stimulant here just to get this far. I appreciate you staying awake this long. I will stop for now and finish from our appointment to the present in my next blog entry.


I have my left hand on my key board (typing with 2 fingers here people) my right hand is raised. I, state your name, hereby promise to not wait 3 weeks to post ever again. I, state your name again, also promise that even if I don't have anything nice to say, I will still stop by and post something, anything, just to let you know we are all breathing.


Peace, love, and hope....Appreciative Whim